It’s okay to say NO.
My health is everything – and I mean everything. In 2018, I was a functioning alcoholic and have been in recovery since September of that year. Somewhere along the way, the idea of health that I held in high school slowly faded over the next 13 years until I barely recognized myself. I was nearly 300 pounds and struggling to tie my shoes without needing a break. How did I get here?
Simply put, I didn’t say no.
By not saying no, I let others prioritize my life instead of prioritizing it myself. I chose a career based on what people told me I should do—not what I was passionate about. Honestly, I didn’t even know what my passions were. I was going to networking events, parties, playing a lot of golf. Notice how I wasn’t home with my wife, working out, going on bike rides, eating healthy, or choosing my health over others?
I wasn’t saying no to unhealthy activities—but I was saying no to the healthy ones. Why?
Because it was easier to be a victim of myself than to own it.
Owning it meant admitting I was flawed. It meant looking in the mirror and seeing myself for who I really was—not who I thought I was. And frankly, that’s incredibly tough. I was saying no to chasing my dreams, my health, my happiness—and saying yes to being the guy who was always up for anything.
It might not come as a surprise that by September 2018, I was a trainwreck. I struggled for weeks with my identity. How do I tell people I’m an alcoholic in recovery? I finally said no—no to drinking, partying, and so much more—and I struggled more than ever.
That’s when I realized: if I wanted to change my life, I had to do it incrementally.
One day at a time. One minute at a time. One moment at a time.
I knew my weight was an issue—it wasn’t a surprise. But now that I wasn’t numbing my feelings with alcohol, it hit me square in the face: I am not who I want to be, and I need to change.
So what did I do?
I didn’t go for the hero shot like so many do. I didn’t buy greens powders, overpriced supplements, or detox shots. I simply said: Today, I’m going to get five servings of fruits and veggies before I do anything else. I told myself: Today, you’re not going to eat that cookie on the office counter. Was it easy? No. But it was a small change.
I committed to slowly and incrementally making changes by saying no to things I knew weren’t healthy or good for me. I started saying no to things I regularly said yes to—treats during the day, burgers at lunch, fries. Not every day. I’m human.
Over the course of a few months, saying no to networking events meant more time with my wife and daughter. Saying no to rounds of golf meant more time to focus on my family and do healthy activities. Saying no to a donut five days a week meant the weight started slipping off.
“No” became my favorite word.
“Ole, tomorrow you’re going to crush that cinnamon roll.”
No, I’d tell myself.
Is the journey easy? No.
Do I love every day? Yes.
There are days I eat garbage—but I don’t get mad at myself. I just remind myself that tomorrow is a new day, and I’ll get back to saying no.
“No” is a powerful word—and it’s one many of us don’t like to say.
I love saying it now.
And I think more people should say NO.
